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Thursday, January 19, 2017

Death Trap

Death Trap
Thursday, January 19, 2017
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Visuals by @Germaine_Alvarado




"Life is too short" has got to the be most cheesiest yet the most realest single phrase known to a ten year old. I can't help but to roll my eyes with a smirk whenever this statement is used as a comforting support to a seemingly trivial dilemma. But this time around, the one-liner hit uncomfortably and too closely to home. It carried a heavier and darker meaning. I will be going to my second funeral this Sunday within a month of loved ones due to cancer. It's that easy. It's unexpected. And it happens really freakin' fast -- and to anyone.

Something about being healthy with the weak. Something about being able to walk away from the standstills. Something about saying goodbye to the silent. 

Something about remembering what it's like when everything was alright. It makes you just shut yourself out and think: Damn, we're really fragile, and sh.t just happens without any warning or explanation. And within that moment, you realize - even if it's for a short bit - that your everyday problems does not compare to anything when you're facing death. 'Cause that's something you can't fix.

So as I am facing family with tear stroked faces and memories spilling out from our hearts, I am constantly reminding myself that Jay Z was a genius and freakin' right, "you got one life to live". This is it and all you've got. Don't waste it being unhappy and to just simply live your life. Love your life. And be the best version of yourself as you can be. 


Because life is too short.






Monday, January 9, 2017

From Rumi

From Rumi
Monday, January 9, 2017
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"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety..."


"If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain..."



"From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me..."


"There is is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it."

-- Rumi

Thanks for the enlightenment, Rumi. Didn't even know how much I needed it.



Friday, December 30, 2016

Dear 2017

Dear 2017
Friday, December 30, 2016
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(@ The New Museum)
I wish:

To take care of myself better
To see more things
To feel more...feelings
To finally beat that dumb level on that dumb iPhone game
To learn bigger and greater things
Like...baking.

I hope to:

Surround myself with better people
Communicate my thoughts, aches, and joys easily
Read more damn freakin' books
Volunteer often



I promise to:

Self love more
Care less more
Let go more
Visit my parents more
Eat more...vegetables
Reach out more
Sunday, December 18, 2016

A Dose of Ray

A Dose of Ray
Sunday, December 18, 2016
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It takes a cold day for me to get all mopey and nostalgic for the warmth. Just two weeks ago, I felt my skin burn like a crispy chicken from the sun in Miami during Art Basel. Currently, it is 40 degrees outside when I was just in an 80 degree weather. So you could only imagine why I'm dreaming of soaking in some vitamin D. 

For obvious and scientific reasons, the sun makes me dumb happy. It acts as a fuel for my body and mind. I get inspired, I get creative, I get pumped AF. Something about being hugged by his rays energizes me in every way. Unless it's humid and my hair is out of control, then I'm miserable and just wants to get the hell inside.
And so, I miss running around in Miami surrounded by the buzz. The creations from art geniuses. Dancing with total strangers to Ms. Lauryn Hill and Nelly Furtado. Watched A$AP Rocky do...art? (I still don't know what I watched). Drank fancy champagne at Pierre Jouet and played with Paper Magazine for H&M.

Oh man. Is it summer yet? Thanks for treating me so well Art Basel 2016. See ya next year.

Under Armour Sports Bra | Cuffe Parade Skirt | M13 Cleo Stacked Choker | Nick Graham Pocket Square


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Goodness Gracious

Goodness Gracious
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
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Thank goodness for //

Wifi when it boasts optimistic full bars
Justin for being able to handle my morning farts in bed
The blood running through my veins even if I lack it due to anemia
My mother bribing me to come home with pictures of food
Ryan Reynolds continuously taking off his shirt in Amytiville Horror
External chargers so I will never run out of juice to continuously bother Justin
Kenny, our office building's doorman, for gossiping with me whenever I get bored
Google calendar, you're clutch as fck
My dad for stocking up the house with essentials so I can steal it
My brother for his dumbass hilarious videos of himself. I now have black mail material.
Helene and Rich for reminding me that I am doomed with their son and I should find a better Jew to marry.
NJ Transit...I still hate you. Not thankful.
Kat, my singing coach, for busting out in moves so I can feel comfortable singing at the expense of her dignity
Instagram for ruining my life and getting me in trouble at dinner tables
Spotify for keeping me calm and not lose my shit whenever I am stuck underground in a subway
Trump for revealing how many people in this country who doesn't love and respect one another
My ulcer, because without it, I would be obese
Hand sanitizers and baby wipes. Yes.
Bruno Mars for coming back with a bombass album
Waking up today

Images by Georgie Hunter for Getty Entertainment

Vintage Levi Denim Jacket | Uniqlo Jogger Pant | Urban Outfitter Booties | Forge & Finish Ring




Sunday, November 20, 2016

Picking Lilies

Picking Lilies
Sunday, November 20, 2016
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Best Friends. Those two words fckin haunt me. I'm not very good at keeping them around or they are not worthy for me to keep around. Each situation's different. To each it's own. Whatever tickles their pickle. Love is a battlefield, battlefield, battlefield...

There are many levels to a true Best Friend relationship. It can range from the ones you tell your secrets and heartaches to, and do the occasional ugly drunk cries with... Then there's one at the end of the Best Friend spectrum who you bicker with like siblings, have long conversations in the shower butt ass naked with, kick your boyfriend out of your bed to make room for them (and he totally gets it because she is like a sister to him), hate people together with, share dumb ass memes with, steal your clothes and you ain't even mad kind of best friends. I've lost and gained so many of these combination of best friends within my progressive 20 something years of growing up and becoming who I am. Some were my fault and some were theirs. But hey, we all agree that's what growing up is. You win some, you lose some.

Extra shade and saltiness to the ones that did me wrong and occasionally check up on my timeline ;) Whuz gud!

Ok, petty rant over. 

But this post is really about that said best friend at the end of the spectrum. The one you call family and holds the title of "sister from another mister". The one that everyone mistaken you guys for siblings. The one that people ask about when she's not with you, because she was always with you. I've had that best friend and quite honestly, she was more of my soulmate than my actual boy soulmate (Sorry, Pizzi!). I occasionally call her my "other, other half". The third part of me. 

And then a chord had struck and our differences came to light. Now we are two adults with different points of view and values. What was considered priority to me was not to her and what her values were did not make sense to me. It's ironic how much we have grown but our own individual insecurities may have gotten engulfed into our core. And like two negative magnets we pushed each other in different directions.

We both became selfish. We both said some things we didn't mean. We both were misunderstood. 
One doesn't seem to reach out enough. The other blamed a boy. One ghosted on her way too often. The other's tough love was too much.
We both have inner demons to battle. We both have struggles that seem to compound each other. We are both frustrated and mad.

We heard your soulmate is the one that completes you. Your polar opposites that mix well with your soul chemistry. The ying to your yang that challenges you as a human being. 

I guess I was right all along. She was my other, other half. 

Images by Georgie Hunter for Getty Entertainment

Zara Pleather Jacket | Rat and Boa Dress | Nick Graham Pocket Square | Forge & Finish Ring | Urban Decay No-Tell Motel Lips | Zara Mules 










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