Monday, November 9, 2015

Vine Lines

Photos by Justin Pizzi

I am sitting here typing this post with feelings along the lines of : anger, understanding, and the usual I'm-over-it-whatever. You can insert the side eye emojis here. There's no doubt about it - People grow up and apart. Friends come into your life, do their thang, mature and carry on. Some friendships feel as if they'll last a lifetime. Some will leave their mark and decide to move on. Simple and totally normal. 

The ones I can't seem to understand are the ones that you believed will be a lifetime gig, but suddenly you feel it dissipate subtly or unexpectedly and abruptly. Keeping in touch gets hard as life gets in the way. But even so, you would think that if  there was a friendship to begin with, distance and time apart from each other means nothing. Once you guys are reunited, no time has past. You smack each other on the butt and proceed with the friendshipping.

Well, spoiler alert: I found someone who does the latter. I was told that because we haven't seen each other in a while, why would she reach out to me when she's in town? Why would she contact me to hang out? Er, stop. It clicked - This chick was never my friend. I understand that sometimes people waltz into New York City with plans already made. I understand that we cannot always meet up. I understand if people have things to do and were just in the city for a hot minute. I don't understand why they're always in town and not once reach out to me. I don't understand how someone can say I was fake and distant when I saw them randomly and I'd asked how they were doing, what their plans were and not once did they ask anything about me? And simply trying to find their way out of the conversation.Yes, there's two sides to a relationship and it takes two to tango. But it takes one to say or do the wrong shit and have a closed minded perspective that I simply do not need or have room for in my life. I'm too good and better than that. I have friends that supports me and watch me grow into who I am today. They only wish for the best - even the ones I barely see or talk to. I've grown up and I appreciate these kind souls for being with me every step of the way. Even if it was a quick facebook comment. Something that little can make that much of a difference.

But hey, if you're not losing friends, you're not growing up.

But what kind of half spoiling pumpkin bull shit is that? 

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