Sunday, November 20, 2016

Picking Lilies

"Best Friends. Those two words fckin haunt me."

Best Friends. Those two words fckin haunt me. I'm not very good at keeping them around or they are not worthy for me to keep around. Each situation's different. To each it's own. Whatever tickles their pickle. Love is a battlefield, battlefield, battlefield...

There are many levels to a true Best Friend relationship. It can range from the ones you tell your secrets and heartaches to, and do the occasional ugly drunk cries with... Then there's one at the end of the Best Friend spectrum who you bicker with like siblings, have long conversations in the shower butt ass naked with, kick your boyfriend out of your bed to make room for them (and he totally gets it because she is like a sister to him), hate people together with, share dumb ass memes with, steal your clothes and you ain't even mad kind of best friends. I've lost and gained so many of these combination of best friends within my progressive 20 something years of growing up and becoming who I am. Some were my fault and some were theirs. But hey, we all agree that's what growing up is. You win some, you lose some.

Extra shade and saltiness to the ones that did me wrong and occasionally check up on my timeline ;) Whuz gud!

Ok, petty rant over. 

But this post is really about that said best friend at the end of the spectrum. The one you call family and holds the title of "sister from another mister". The one that everyone mistaken you guys for siblings. The one that people ask about when she's not with you, because she was always with you. I've had that best friend and quite honestly, she was more of my soulmate than my actual boy soulmate (Sorry, Pizzi!). I occasionally call her my "other, other half". The third part of me. 

And then a chord had struck and our differences came to light. Now we are two adults with different points of view and values. What was considered priority to me was not to her and what her values were did not make sense to me. It's ironic how much we have grown but our own individual insecurities may have gotten engulfed into our core. And like two negative magnets we pushed each other in different directions.

We both became selfish. We both said some things we didn't mean. We both were misunderstood. 
One doesn't seem to reach out enough. The other blamed a boy. One ghosted on her way too often. The other's tough love was too much.
We both have inner demons to battle. We both have struggles that seem to compound each other. We are both frustrated and mad.

We heard your soulmate is the one that completes you. Your polar opposites that mix well with your soul chemistry. The ying to your yang that challenges you as a human being. 

I guess I was right all along. She was my other, other half. 

Images by Georgie Hunter for Getty Entertainment

Zara Pleather Jacket | Rat and Boa Dress | Nick Graham Pocket Square | Forge & Finish Ring | Urban Decay No-Tell Motel Lips | Zara Mules 

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